Over half of all singles are members of an online dating site. It can look really easy. But be careful! Not everyone knows about the pitfalls. Find out what you need to keep in mind so that your search for a partner on the Internet is successful:
Here’s how to find a partner on the Internet correctly:
1. Describe yourself truthfully in your profile: Who you are – and not who you want to be!
When online dating, you shouldn’t advertise yourself cheaply or put yourself in a brilliant but false light: Instead, you should describe yourself as accurately as possible and remain completely yourself.
Write like you would talk to a good friend. Write about your personal life plan and the things that are really important to you and that you enjoy doing. Filling out a profile is an exciting self-test. It is also recommended to discuss this “self-test” with someone you trust.
Honesty wins: There is no point in misleading a prospective customer. Describe who you are – and not who you want to be! Overweight or short stature, tics, or weaknesses should be boldly stated – ideally in a somewhat self-ironic manner and at least in the context of one’s own positive advantages. Because self-knowledge and self-acceptance are attractive. And you don’t want to risk someone going home disappointed after the first date because of incorrect information.
2. A photo is worth a thousand words.
A photo is essential when looking for a partner on the Internet! Several are better than one photo. Profiles without photos are viewed less often. That’s understandable – you’re no different.
A photo should be well taken and attractive, but shouldn’t deceive the interested party. It doesn’t hurt to get some help, perhaps even from a good photographer.
In your profile photo you should be clearly recognizable (not off in the distance somewhere). Also pay attention to the background: What do you want the background to say about yourself? A neutral photo studio is just as possible as the integration of personal interests and identifications – from nature to the city, from work to hobby.
3. Approach the search for a partner on the Internet slowly!
Looking for a partner on the Internet even has advantages. But it also has a disadvantage, and that is the successive getting to know each other: What happens offline in a single moment takes weeks on the Internet: the process of getting to know each other begins when exchanging thoughts in text form, turns into hearing on the telephone and often only culminates in meeting in person after many weeks. Initial perceptions take time to unfold into confirmations or completely new understandings of the other person.
It is all the more important not to expect too much too quickly from an interesting contact. Text messages say a lot – but by no means everything. And they can also be deceiving. The right attitude is one of anticipation about a possible option. It would be wrong to constantly let your thoughts revolve around this option or even to hang all your happiness on it. By all means fall head over heels in love – but at the earliest after the first date!
4. Actively approach other members.
When looking for a partner on the Internet, it is important to be active yourself. Don’t just wait to be contacted. Take the alternative yourself. You have nothing to lose! By the way, this also applies to women.
A good conversation starter for first emails and conversations are Commonalities: hobbies and sports, books and films, and even the big questions in life can be good starting topics. If you’re planning to attend an event, ask around about who else is going. Various dating portals make it easier to make contact with a “like” option, which notifies both parties if they are mutually interested.
5. Politeness is also important on the Internet!
Many people hide behind anonymity on the Internet. In online forums, things are usually wilder than, for example, in panel discussions. I think it’s a shame when you “let the pig out” or when you’re only “courageous” when you remain anonymous.
When looking for a partner on the Internet, politeness especially means always answering personal messages. Even if it is difficult to say no to someone. A friendly “No, thank you!” is more appreciative than no answer.
6. When online becomes offline…
The first personal meetings should under no circumstances take place at home but always in public places. Normally these are chosen by the lady. Because she should feel safe there! The private address does not have to be announced prematurely. If someone travels a few hours for the meeting, the question of where to stay overnight usually arises. But even if a hotel costs something and even if the person seems trustworthy and it looks promising, you should never stay with someone you don’t know or don’t know well. Safety first!
7. The Internet is only a secondary meeting point.
Instead of spending too much time on websites, you should be among people and let them inspire you and “shape” you in a good sense. Searching for a partner on the Internet is a hot iron in the fire. But it should by no means be the only one. Accepting invitations, taking the initiative with outings and getting involved in a good cause must be a given priority for a single looking for a partner.
Dr. Gudrun Kugler is the founder of kathTreff, a German-language dating site and partner community of Ave Maria Singles.
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