How does dating actually work? Where should you turn? In this article you will find the solution: As an agent, as a friend, as a partner seeker, pay attention to these four aspects! This is how relationships can succeed!
Matchmaking is a special art
Classifying two people as compatible based on CVs, questionnaires, wishes, and photos and introducing them to each other requires a lot of self-confidence. While it used to be a matter of course among friends and relatives, today people usually talk about pandering in a derogatory manner. It’s a shame – because in my opinion, introducing those looking for a partner to each other because they see a fit is a real act of love.
On the free market, matchmakers usually charge high fees for their services. Those looking for a partner are often willing to pay them. The longing for a partnership often overcomes the resistance to high fees. However, it is difficult to determine whether the matchmaker’s criteria are the right ones. It is often not clear what they are based upon.
Some dating sites use aspects of matchmaking through questionnaires and automated evaluations. These exchanges are usually a little more expensive. A cheap alternative to using a matchmaking agency is taking advantage of our online match test. Ave Maria Singles offers a match test but does not charge for this in the price structure. This match test is especially interesting for Christians as it incorporates the Christian view of humanity, which makes it unique among all online dating questionnaires.
What does a matchmaker look for?
1) Good dating agencies pay attention to common interests
It sounds banal – but it’s not! Living together also requires spending your free time together. Shared hobbies are essential! CS Lewis says: “friendship begins with the realization that you are not alone in one thing or another.” Sharing passions is a key factor in a relationship.
Our match test focuses on clarifying your interests in these types of categories. For example: These types of books are usually on my dessert table; This is my favorite vacation; I like doing this sport; This is how I imagine spending a free Saturday. The following question from the match test highlights how we try to match people based on compatibility factors:
My attitude towards socializing can best be described as follows:
How would you answer?
2) Good dating services pay attention to shared values and attitudes
What is important to me in life? What is the meaning of life for both people? What would one give “a kingdom” for? How do you feel about religion? How do you want to raise children? How open should the shared house be: the more people around the better, or should it primarily be private? Another example from the match test:
For me, a successful evening of conversation is:
- A hot discussion about society, the future and politics.
- A profound conversation about philosophy, literature and the world of ideas.
- A friendly conversation about news from family and friends and an exchange about personal matters.
- Good atmosphere, exchanges, and laughter about everything, mostly trivial.
3) Good dating agencies pay attention to how life plans fit together
A professional matchmaker pays attention to the specific life expectations of those looking for a partner. Do you want to have many children? Live in the countryside? How do you imagine the balance between work and family?
The match test also asks seemingly superficial questions that can actually be integral to a healthy, well-functioning relationship, such as the following:
This is how connected I am to nature
- I love nature and would only be able to live in the city at great sacrifice.
- I need fresh air every day and if it is possible, I will try to take a long walk.
- I love the infrastructure of the city – which means that, to a large extent, I will have to do without experiencing nature throughout the week.
- I don’t necessarily need recreation in nature. There are many other interesting things to do.
What would you choose?
4) Good dating agencies pay attention to conversational compatibility and parallel interests
For a relationship to be successful, you should be able to talk to each other. When you talk to each other – do you talk about the same things? Do people and situations have a similar effect on both? Do you find the same people likable and interesting? Do you both like similar films? A couple has to ask themselves: Can we laugh together? Can we argue with each other and makeup again?
The matchmaker or a match test cannot determine when you are ready for a relationship. Initially, whether there are sparks or not doesn’t matter all that much. But if the basic building blocks of a relationship are stacking up correctly, a lot has already been achieved.
36 questions to fall in love
The psychologist Arthur Aron , New York State University Stony Brook, found 36 questions that, when answered together in conversation, can create healthy closeness, even with strangers, and from there (in a romantic context), love often develops on its own. These questions are fascinating and of great value in the dating process.
These 36 questions discuss what moves each person in depth and can provide a useful guide to a conversation on a first date. I would like to highlight a few of these questions in particular:
- This is what I am grateful for in my life
- My best memory
- My greatest achievement
- I would like to have dinner with this person
- I would like this one quality or ability
- In the event of a fire, I would save this one thing from my apartment (after people, animals, and cell phones)
Whether you are a matchmaker or an online dater, you can cultivate or begin a healthy relationship based on the principles discussed here. Of course, that’s just the beginning. But a good start is worth a lot!
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