5 tips to survive Valentine's Day

It is said that Saint Valentine risked his life to officiate at Christian marriages, despite the ban imposed by Emperor Claudius. Like Valentine, the couples were also in danger of being imprisoned or sentenced to death (if they were caught seeking or participating in a Christian sacramental marriage).

Although advertising often tells us otherwise, and Valentine’s Day is exclusively seen as a celebration of romance, this day is not about superficial love. Today, we celebrate a Saint who advocated for enduring, sacrificial love between men and women. In St. Valentine’s day, couples took their relationships so seriously that, despite the danger of death, they still chose to marry and walk their path together.

So on this day we especially want to ask St. Valentine for his help. Just as he was committed to helping couples achieve sacramental marriage (despite the risk of persecution and death), you can also ask him to commit to helping you find your future partner. However, one way we can keep perspective is by remembering that love is not just about marital love. It also involves love for your neighbor: a neighbor who needs help, a friend who is in a crisis, a lonely grandmother, parents or siblings who need to hear from you … or even homeless people, the unemployed, and so forth. There is love not only in marriage but there can be love expressed in every encounter we have in everyday life. On Valentine’s Day, then, we can look for love in the little things!

With all that being said, kathTreff has prepared five tips to help you have a “successful” Valentine’s Day:

Do something helpful:

An elderly lady once said to me, “After so many years of marriage, I finally understand that my husband is the window or pathway to God! There are many ways to God and God should be our goal. In order to find God, my unique calling was marriage.” That being said, some are called to marriage and some are not. And perhaps you may stay single for a while longer before you find a spouse or a special calling. In the meantime, you can do a lot of good! Your single years must not remain just a “waiting time”! During this period, the path to God involves attentiveness to the many people who are around you – friends, parents, the sick, the poor… and who knows, maybe you will suddenly find the right partner while you are thinking about and helping others…

Take initiative:

Finding a partner takes courage and perseverance. It’s easy to become discouraged. It’s exhausting, and at the same time, the longing continues to grow. Valentine’s Day is the right time to regain courage and make an effort. Try to “turn the tables”; instead of sitting back and waiting despondently, take the initiative. For example, call friends you haven’t heard from in a long time. Don’t wait for a call! A positive attitude makes you shine and spread love.

Strengthen Faith and Hope:

The three theological virtues are faith, hope, and love. These three virtues are closely interconnected. Ask St. Valentine for greater faith and hope, so that your ability to love grows bigger and stronger. These virtues are the foundation of a solid future partnership. So growing in these virtues means that you can have greater confidence that you are actually being led by HIM (and not just by your own desires and whims)!

Don’t compare yourself to others:

Many of your acquaintances, friends, and relatives have probably already found partners with whom they hope to live in a happy relationship. But that doesn’t mean that everyone is always happy. You can’t see into people’s hearts and minds. Not everything is as it seems. When you are single, just as when you are married, you can be happy or you can have problems. Constant comparing can fuel resentment and jealousy, which reflects negatively on yourself and others. Stay focused on loving others and drop the envy…

Even if you are single, you should not be alone in your loneliness:

The feeling of loneliness is often associated with the idea that you are separated from others. But isn’t loneliness something that actually connects us all? Use this feeling of connectedness (in loneliness) to spur action. Reach out to others and look beyond the surface to find new opportunities to connect. Additionally, and counterintuitively, allow yourself to feel lonely now and again. Don’t numb yourself with the Internet, general distractions, or cheap fun. At the end of the day, people who can be alone with themselves are more attractive to others.